Disappearance
by XatuAppraisal
Summary: Hanako's big explosion at the end, but with Hisao getting a bit wise. He stops the door closing and tries to get through to Hanako (and that's spoilers - XD )
1. Where we come in

Hi Guys, I'm XatuAppraisal. That guy you don't really know, but like anyway (I hope). This is my first piece of work, so please leave genuine constructive criticism if you dislike the alternative negative ending to Hanako's story and don't troll (like my 'friends' do on my YouTube channel). Hope you enjoy!

I rap my knuckles thrice on Hanako's door. As expected, there's no answer. I briefly consider knocking again, but I know full well that I'd get the same result if I did.

Resting my hand on Hanako's door handle, I try to prepare what I want to say to her. Try as I might, I honestly can't think of anything worth saying. I want to comfort her, yes, but how do I do that?

The thought of that alone is almost enough to stop me… I told Lilly I would, but for some reason, I feel like I have to follow through what I'm doing, no matter how confident I am about it.

I turn the handle downwards, with a large amount of hesitation. It doesn't move far though, due to being locked.

"Hanako…"

So she's locked me out. She's really locked me out. After everything that's happened between us and that time we'd spent together, she's locked me out completely…

"Um… I don't know if you can hear me, but… I just want to talk to you for a bit. If you can hear me, could you unlock the door?"

I wait in silence. Minutes pass, but eventually I hear footsteps coming to the door and the lock being worked. At least she's willing to hear me out. That's one good thing.

"I… I don't really know what to say, but… I just wanted to see you. I wanted to make sure you're alright."

I take a breath before pushing the handle down and opening the door. If she unlocked it without raising a protest, it should be fine for me to go in.

Hanako is sitting on the side of her bed, her face sullen as if she were deep in thought. Her room is as barren as ever, and right now, she seems to perfectly suit the mood it gives off.

Eventually, her eyes slowly move to the door. As soon as she notices my presence, she darts off the bed and jumps to her feet, facing me straight on. Her oversized gown makes the gesture look all the more sweeping as it moves over her light frame.

"Wh-What are you…?"

I instantly regret coming in here as I look at her. She looks depressed, but there's a hint of anger behind it. So, she can make this kind of expression well.

"I… I just wanted to check you were alright. I thought that'd be okay, since you opened the door."

Hanako opens here mouth to speak, but closes it again quickly before looking away. We stand in silence for a while before she steps back and sits on the bedside once more. I'm not sure whether she's frustrated with me and has resigned to the fact I'm here, or genuinely okay with being here. Once again, I have found myself unable to figure out what she's feeling.

It's upsetting.

I end up walking to her desk chair and taking a seat. I do it slowly to allow her time to raise any issues she may have with me sticking around, but she doesn't say anything. She doesn't say anything. After sitting with my front to the back of the chair, I take a better look at Hanako.

She looks pale, but with red cheeks. She can't have been eating well either, giving how thin she looks right now. Lilly may have said it would be better to distance myself during this low point in Hanako's cycle, but how can that be the best way to deal with her when she looks like this?

She keeps looking at the floor without a word, as if she were waiting for me to say something. It's entirely reasonable as I'm the one who came into her room.

"Want to head somewhere? Going down the hill and into town might be a stretch, but we can still take a walk outside."

Hanako looks up. She seems surprised at my suggestion. "Why… do you want to do that?"

"I was just thinking that it might help you a bit." Hanako looks back down, her face going back to what it was before. "You spend much more time inside; your skin will be paler than Lilly's before long."

I can't help crack a smile. I hadn't meant to make this joke, but now that it's out, I hope that it's put a smile on Hanako's face.

I get no reaction; she just continues to look down at the floor.

"If you don't want to go… I-I don't want to go either."

I try to reassure her, she needs to get out of this room. "It's fine, honestly. I used to play soccer with friends after school a lot before coming to Yamaku, so I like being outdoors."

Hanako shows no reaction. How can I talk to her when this conversation is so one-sided?

"We could go to the library…" Then I look at the clock above her desk and notice the time. "Uh, if it wasn't closed around about now. The gardens are still good for a wander through."

She begins to play with her hair… something she's never done before. Is she ignoring me? It's a little distracting… Then again, since her panic attack in class, all I've been doing is tiptoeing around her for fear of hurting her like that again. Being outside will be good for her.

I lean into the chair a little bit more and try to smile to lighten the mood, hoping I don't just end up looking creepy. "There wouldn't be anyone around by now, so you wouldn't have to worry about people getting in our way."

Still no reaction? Last ditch effort… "Who knows? It could be a little date… or something."

Hanako stops playing with her hair and looks at me, shocked. This isn't the reaction I was hoping for… She grips her bed tightly and mumbles something, but I can't make out what she's saying.

"Hanako?"

She takes a while but she eventually says a few words. "You… don't understand…" Even now I can barely understand what she's saying. It's almost like she's trying to make her presence as small as possible – something I'd expect her to do in class or the city, but around me?

"It's fine, really. I told you. No-one will notice us going for a little walk…" I walk towards the door and turn to Hanako, inviting her to follow me.

She hasn't moved, possibly not even noticing my change in location.

"I don't…"

Doesn't what? "Going outside for a bit will clear your head."

Hanako looks at me head on, but doesn't leave your bed. "Why do you… want to do this…?"

Time for the truth. "Because I want to help you."

"I don't… want… help." Hanako looks down again, almost as if she's refusing to look me in the eye. Is she being honest? "Did you just come here… to try and get me out…?"

"It's okay." It really is. "Everyone needs help sometimes. When I was battling through my first days at Yamaku, it was you and Lilly who came to my rescue… Besides, I'm not exactly busy."

"I don't w-want to go. I'm… fine."

"But it's not healthy to stay indoors for days! The sun's still got some life in it left, let's go for a little walk…" Why is Hanako so resistant to this idea? "I could use some exercise anyway, to help wake me up. If I'm going to get my homework done, I can't fall asleep halfway through."

Hanako looks at me straight in the eye. "Then… go."

"By myself?" Hanako nods. "It's not a bad idea… but are you sure? I swung by to invite you to come with me."

"I'm fine." She doesn't look fine. I can remember the first time I spoke to her. We looked each other in the eye and she ran away. She wasn't comfortable enough around me to talk for a week, but our friendship grew amazingly. Now… "You can go"

"Come on!" I'm not taking no for an answer. "Just a small walk."

"Please, just go. I-I'm fine here."

"…Hanako?" There's got to be a reason for her flat-out refusal. I try to look at her face to gauge her feelings, but her expression is wooden. It's almost like she arranged it so carefully that a single movement would make her features collapse. "If you're dead set on staying, maybe a game?"

She shakes her head. "Just go, please. I don't… I don't want to do anything right now."

This is ridiculous. "There's got to be something you're up for doing. Sitting here alone for days has got to have you bored stiff."

"I want you to go."

I'm not leaving Hanako here to do more damage to herself. "Come on, you don't have to be like that. I just want to spend some time with you. Lilly and I are really worried, so-"

"You… talked to her?" Hanako's interruption was blunt and, despite being at her usual low volume, was the easiest to make out of all she'd said tonight.

"Uh…" Maybe I shouldn't have said this. "Yeah. We were… On the phone, just a little while ago. We're both really worried about you."

Hanako mumbles to herself again. It's increasingly disturbing.

"Hanako…?"

She looks straight at me. There's something in her eyes I've never seen before. "I'm telling you… please, go away. You don't understand anything…"

"Then talk to me, tell me what I don't understand. I just want to protect you, I really don't see…"

"Get… out, p-please…" Her voice is sort of… vibrating. Is she angry at me?

"Just locking yourself in your room again isn't going to help anything, Hanako. Please…"

Silence.

"Hanako, please I just want to help-"

She suddenly storms off the bed, turning to me with an expression that takes me completely off guard.

"Get out of my room, get out of my room, GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Hanako yells at me with so much force that, for the first time in a long time, I feel genuinely frightened. I… have no idea… How do I react to this? "LEAVE! I am telling you… to GO."

"B-but… I was just trying to… help you…"

Hanako's face twists in her anger. "I KNOW I NEED HELP! I KNOW I'M BROKEN! I DON'T NEED YOU TO TELL ME THAT!"

She's been hearing me wrong… "I never said you were broken... I never said anything like that."

"It's written on your face, on Lilly's face, on everyone's faces! I see a therapist every week, Lilly dotes on me as if I were her child and now…"

She looks at me directly, this is the first time she's ever made eye contact with me deliberately… Why does it have to be in her anger?

"…even you." At least Hanako stopped screaming. Then again, that hasn't made me feel better. I'm responsible for this. I've hurt my best friend so badly… "Nothing's changed! Nothing at all! I hate Lilly, and… you. I hate you more than anyone…"

Her face moves in strange, almost misshapen ways. I've never seen anyone lose it completely before, but it looks like the formerly quiet and withdrawn girl in front of me is going through a destructive cycle in front of me now.

I don't know what to do. What do I say?

Suddenly, I'm hit by an old memory. Sat in the hospital being told I was never going to see my friends, never see Iwanako again… I didn't know what to say then, and by the time I did, it was too late to say anything.

"GO! Leave me alone! GET OUT OF HERE!"

I stepped back and felt for the handle. I opened it, seeing most of Hanako's has left in that demand, but I still can see the shadow of the rage in her eyes.

And it hurt me.

My mind went through my memories at Yamaku. The few friends I'd made… Misha and Shizune giving me company at lunch a few days ago… Lilly saying farewell as she left for Scotland…

LILLY!

What's she going to think when she comes back to see Hanako repulsed by her presence? She's going to hate me! I ruined one of the closest friendships I've ever seen by ignoring her advice!

I pay attention to the situation again. I'm on the other side if the door and it's half closed, so that I can barely see Hanako on the other side. Her legs are shaking so bad that I'm surprised she's standing. The sun setting is leaking its fiery light through the window in a way that her face looks crowded in shadow compared to her surroundings.

Suddenly, I notice a tear on my wrist. I didn't know Hanako had gotten that close to me. I hadn't even noticed her crying…

And another tear fell. Then I realised, they weren't Hanako's tears…

…they were mine.

I'm just as upset as Hanako is! I'm just as hurt as the girl who had kept herself hidden from everyone else, just as hurt as this poor schoolgirl. But I wouldn't be this upset! Unless…

…unless I was in love with her.

Something clicked in my head when it came to mind. It would explain why I've been so upset about her locking herself away… but I thought that was simply because she was my friend, then again, when Lilly found Hanako like this for the first time, all she'd ended up doing was keeping her fed. Who else would've gone to these lengths to try to help her?

But then, who else would've royally fucked up like I have?

I can't let this visit end like this…

…so I put my foot in the way of the door.


	2. The Attack

Authors Note/ Okay, I'll be honest. When I first uploaded this story, I already had a length of it written on paper. However, due to the lack of interest, I decided to focus on GX Revised. Since then, I have seen a LOT of followers and favourites and have decided to continue. XD Your support is appreciated and I hope you consider reading the next chapter worthwhile

Authors Note End/

The atmosphere outside was much thinner and calmer than inside. I opened my ears to what was around me as I stopped for a few seconds to catch my breath.

I could hear shuffling from the door behind me… some cow was watching the show! I also heard noise from the staircase, from above and below. I thought that there were only teachers on the floor above… well, I hope that Yuuko's among the staff coming downstairs, as I don't know any other female staff here…

I heard another sound. A shuffling from the room that Hanako was coming from? Oh god. She's walking towards the door to close it.

She's going to shut me out. For good.

I can't let that happen.

I opened the door and threw myself in, but when I was inside, I had no idea what I was doing. I saw Hanako surprise at my re-entrance quickly change to anger and a motion to push me out of her room… in a way. The light of the sunset outside her room was directly behind her and bright orange, shading her face in comparison. I did the only thing I could to try to calm her down.

I put my arms around her.

That was my first mistake.

At first she tensed up, full of fear and terror at the bombshell, but then she slackened and fell into my arms. Poor girl, she must be so confused, so exhausted… Still, I need to tell her this.

"I love you Hanako…"

That was my second mistake.

She tried to push me away, physically push me, with a strength I never knew she had. She started screaming, but, with her face buried in my chest, I couldn't understand what she was screeching - if she was saying anything at all. After a few seconds, she started punching me. Nothing really strong, nothing I couldn't handle…

…until she got me in the wrong place.

Centre of the chest, three inches down, one inch to the left.

Directly at my heart.

At first I just stood there, almost unfazed by the impact. Of course the fact that the few sounds around me were muffled didn't exactly help. I saw Hanako pull her head back, now that my arms had slackened and was unable to keep up my hold of her. She looked down at where she had hit me and…

She walked backwards. I couldn't see any more emotion in Hanako's face… as though she had given up on something… I saw her stumble over her own feet and crash into a table in the corner and right through a glass vase. It shattered completely, leaving two small shards sticking out of her arm.

I tried to move to help her, but any movement I attempted to make was met with a sharp stabbing pain and a failure in my attempt. Suddenly, everything seemed to be sweeping downwards… I began to feel… sick… and woozy… and…

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

I had keeled back and landed in the hallway! With a bruise and a bump growing rapidly on my cranium, I took in what was occurring outside of the room. A crowd of people had gathered at the staircase, trying to get a glimpse of what was going on. However, Shizune and Misha were being obstructive, thank god. I saw them letting a couple of people through. My first instinct was a feeling of dread, but after I saw it was the nurse and… Emi (who else had those legs?), I calmed down.

I couldn't hear anything. The ringing had turned to nothing leaving me with nothing to do but close my eyes and give in to the darkness, just as I sensed someone going into Hanako's room.

/Author's Note/ This is not a death. This story will continue.


End file.
